Tips on Improving Relationships while Climbing

Have you watched this video on UKC?

And read its subsequent comments? It seems that something has clearly hit a nerve there. What can be done to improve relationships between the sexes while climbing? In the four years I’ve been bouldering, I’ve come across a few well-defined behaviour patterns. So here are my two cents:

– If you are a man and see a female climber struggling on a V0 problem, don’t say “come on, that’s so easy!” or stand there and say nothing. Women need validation. Remember: not everybody is as good as you. So instead of standing there, gloating, offer some useful tips. Most of the time, they will be gratefully accepted.

– If you are a woman and see a male climber struggling on a V0 problem, do not offer tips. I repeat, do not offer tips. They simply don’t like it. It’s best to approach the situation in an indirect way. After all, most of the time they’ll never dare to ask you for advice, isn’t it? So what you do, you wait until they finish their attempt and then SHOW them how it’s done. Then – this is an important part – pretend you’re not looking while they are trying to replicate your moves. Or even better, if you’re climbing indoors, leave that room. If they fail, they’ll hate to have you there, watching their weaknesses.  Men need to feel powerful.

– If you are a man and are spotting a woman outdoors, don’t leave if she says “the problem is so easy, I won’t need any spotters.” If anything bad happens, she’ll blame you.

– If you are a woman spotting a man outdoors, the chances are he won’t want you there in the first place. If he falls on you, the last thing he’d want is to hurt you. So don’t take it badly if he says “the problem is so easy, I won’t need any spotters.” He won’t blame you.

– If you are a man climbing in a big group outdoors and let the women carry the bouldering mats, they’ll hate you. Offer to carry them, even if they say “no, it’s fine.” You’ll find that nine times out of ten they’ll gladly let you get on with it.

Have you got any more tips you’d like to share?